Winning contests...

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd you do?"
"First Place!," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

"I'm entering," says Pinocchio.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the heck is Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.